Lessons Learned from the Last Months Spent with My Beloved Dog
Making the decision to put my dog down was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. If you’ve ever faced that heart-wrenching choice, you know the pain and grief it brings. But we knew that after a wonderful 15 and a half years with our beloved Golden Lab, Jaya, the time had come.
As Jaya got older, things got tougher. Leaving her alone became harder and harder as her care needs increased. As a couple, it impacted our lives. We couldn’t just ‘up and go’ like we used to. Someone had to be home with Jaya most of the time, and even on the rare occasion when we both went out, we constantly worried about her. And yes whilst we had great friends and family who we could rely upon to tend to her care if needed, the anxiety of leaving our frail old girl in the care of others was hard.
Saying all this sounds like it was a burden to care for her. And in reflection it was, but here’s the thing — even though those last months were tough, they were insignificant in comparison to the profound lessons she was able to impart on me. Jaya taught me some really important things about life. Despite the pain of her passing, her teachings continue to resonate. Here are some invaluable lessons I learned from my dear Jaya…
1. Embracing the Present Moment:
In the twilight of Jaya’s life, the focus of our walks would be on ‘rushing’, either ‘rushing’ to try and get the heart rate up to burn some calories or I would be ‘rushing’ ‘cos of my endless to-do list I felt I needed to get back to. But as she aged, her slower pace encouraged me to slow down, and truly immerse myself in the present. She taught me to stop and smell the roses. Literally! I learned to savour the fragrance of flowers we walked by, to feel the texture of different leaves from the bushes we passed beneath my fingertips, to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin and the sounds of the birds chirping. Through her, I was able to notice my surroundings more and be more mindful whilst on my walk; connecting more with the present.
2. Cultivating Patience, Compassion and Connection
Jaya’s advancing age brought with it increased care needs, demanding a certain kind of understanding on my part. Rather than feeling burdened or annoyed by the extra attention she needed, I embraced these moments as opportunities to practice patience and compassion. Plus gazing up at the stars and moonlit sky during those many late-night toileting excursions, where Jaya just needed to rest before slowly trekking back inside to the comfort of bed, I realised when sitting next to her on the grass listening to the night at 2am, the profound beauty and depth of connection it fostered, not only with my dog, but something bigger — Mother Nature, the universe; I’m not sure. But it felt magical at times — despite the sleep deprivation!
3. The Power of Unconditional Love:
Jaya’s unwavering affection reminded me that true fulfillment lies not in material possessions or societal expectations, but in the boundless love we share with others. She didn’t need anything other than to be loved. She had nil expectations for me to have a clean house, or have nice nails or wear the latest fashion — she just wanted me to be with her. She needed nothing more than my presence, reminding me that kindness and love are the most precious gifts we can give and receive.
4. Recognising My Own Worth:
Through Jaya’s steadfast companionship, I came to understand even more that my value lies not in accomplishments or external validation, but in the simple act of being myself. Her unconditional love served as a mirror, reflecting back to me the truth that I am enough, just as I am. In her eyes, I found acceptance and affirmation, learning to embrace my own worthiness and imperfections. For this, I am forever grateful.
In conclusion, caring for an ageing dog has been a privilege — one that led me to unexpected life lessons. So thank you, dear Jaya, for teaching me the essence of presence, patience, love, and self-worth.
And if you would like to read more about my research into dogs’ impact on mental health, go to: https://www.mamamia.com.au/do-dogs-make-you-happier