Forget Gump’s Box of Chocolates…Try ‘Life is Like A Garden’ for the Real Metaphor
Have you ever felt like you’re wandering aimlessly through life, unsure of which path to take? Or perhaps you’ve followed a path only to realise it’s not the right direction, feeling it’s too late to turn back? This is a common experience.
The good news is, you can find clarity on the direction of your life and get back on track.
While the famous quote from Forrest Gump, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get,” highlights life’s unpredictability, it can be misleading. I believe we can choose the paths we wish to take. This requires intentional effort, and in this blog, I’ll share some key considerations to help you navigate your journey.
LIFE IS LIKE A GARDEN
Firstly, let’s think of life as a garden. Before you start planting seeds, you need to envision what you want your garden to look like. You don’t just grab whatever seeds you can get your hands on, scatter them around randomly, and just hope for the best. If you do this, your garden will risk becoming neglected, overgrown, and lacking the beauty and vitality you desire.
Instead, you have to ask yourself what type of garden you want, the purpose you want your garden to serve, what you want to grow in your garden, and how you want your garden to look. Just as it’s helpful to have a clear direction for how you want your garden to grow, so is having a clear direction for your life.
By defining your values and aligning your actions with them, you can cultivate a life that reflects your true aspirations and provide more meaning.
Below are some suggestions on how to do this…
STEP 1. SOW THE RIGHT SEEDS: TAP INTO VALUES
Imagine walking out your back door into a garden that doesn’t look anything like your dream garden. Maybe it’s overgrown, there’s weeds, there’s no pretty flowers or vegetables that you want to be there. It would feel pretty miserable and uninspiring, and something you certainly wouldn’t feel proud of. That’s what your life could feel and look like if you’re not clear about the direction you want your life to take.
So, when you have lost sight of who you are or what direction you want to take in life, tapping into your values, to help you understand what’s important to you, can help get you back on the right track.
In order to identify your values, ask yourself questions like:
- What kind of life do I want to have?
- What’s my life’s mission or purpose?
- How do I want others to remember me by?
- What do I want to achieve?
- What do I want to stand for in life?
- If I was living life by my values what would I be doing more of, or less of?’
And if you are still unclear about values, or would like to explore values further, there is a link at the end of this blog of a worksheet that outlines common values for you to pick from.
STEP 2. PRIORITISE WHAT YOU WISH TO GROW
Just as you prioritise which plants to grow in your garden, you must prioritise your goals and actions based on your values.
Let’s go back to our garden metaphor to understand this better. When first planning your garden, you would begin by drafting a wish list of everything you want and desire. It might be that you want a variety of vegetables. Maybe you desire to have pumpkins, carrots, beans, corn, snow peas and tomatoes, as well as, have an array of flowers, like marigolds, daisies, and lavender. On top of this you might also want an assortment of herbs, like mint, parsley, coriander, rosemary, basil and thyme.
Keep in mind that you can’t possibly grow everything at once. If you try, you’ll end up with a garden that’s unmanageable or have certain plants that aren’t ready to grow due to not being the right time of year. So, it’s crucial to prune the wish list of plants down to the ones that resonate most deeply with you, the ones that you think are the most important ones for you to grow this time around. Remember, your life, like a garden, has finite space; attempting to cultivate everything at once will only lead to chaos and overwhelm.
After all, you can’t train for a marathon, learn to play an instrument, start a business, and write a novel all at once. Plant the seeds that will bear the fruit that are most important to you right now. Then, the next season or the next year, if you wish, you can try planting different seeds. You just can’t plant too many things at the same time.
In much the same way, when planning your dream life, focus on what matters most to you. You can do this by identifying all your values. Afterwards, prioritise your values list by selecting the top five most important values for you right now. Then once you are clear on what your values are, you can start planning to take actions in the direction of those values, and can get to work on the things you want most, and eventually bear the fruits of fulfillment and satisfaction.
STEP 3. REAP WHAT YOU SOW
It’s essential to recognise that our actions in life determine the outcomes we experience. It’s like the basic rule of cause and effect: what you put in is what you get out. Gardeners understand this principle — if they desire a bountiful harvest of tomatoes, they must plant tomato seeds. They wouldn’t plant ivy, and wonder why they have a garden that’s overgrown with a poisonous plant! It seems obvious, doesn’t it? Yet, in the garden of life, many of us inadvertently sow the wrong seeds and then wonder why our lives aren’t turning out the way we had hoped.
Take a moment to consider this: instead of taking care of ourselves by eating well and staying active, we surrender to the temptation of overeating and spending countless hours glued to screens. Rather than nurturing our relationships and spending quality time with loved ones, we prioritise work and career ambitions, neglecting connections with people that truly enrich our lives.
In each of these scenarios, the seeds we’ve planted — whether they be habits, priorities, or values — dictate the quality of the life we reap. Just as ivy seeds won’t grow tomatoes, negative habits and misplaced priorities won’t lead to fulfillment and satisfaction. If we’re not happy with how things are turning out, we must re-examine the seeds we’re sowing and make deliberate choices to plant seeds that align with our values; our true desires.
In summary, the age-old adage rings true: you reap what you sow. Whether in the garden or in life, the seeds we plant determine the outcomes we experience. Whether it’s cultivating healthy habits, or nurturing relationships, your actions should reflect your values and intentions. So, let’s sow seeds that we value and that are most important to us, and cultivate a life that blossoms with joy and fulfillment.
STEP 4. PLOUGHING AHEAD IN BAD WEATHER
Now we all know that just because we plant a seed that it doesn’t mean it will always grow! I’m sure we’re all familiar with the disappointment of planting a seed only to find it doesn’t sprout. Personally, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve attempted to grow coriander, only to be met with failure! Similarly, in life, there are times when our endeavours don’t yield the expected results, and the journey becomes tough. Setbacks and disappointments will arise despite our best efforts.
But amidst these setbacks, it’s crucial to cultivate resilience by staying true to our values, committing to our actions, and being compassionate towards ourselves, even in the face of challenges. By doing so, we can weather the storms and overcome obstacles along the way, and we will still feel that slow burn of satisfaction as we are doing something that is meaningful to us despite the difficult journey.
When we live in accordance with our values — maybe it’s integrity, kindness, or patience — we can find fulfillment regardless of outcomes. While not every seed may sprout and not every endeavour may succeed, as long as we persist in sowing seeds aligned with our values, we’re moving in the right direction.
Conclusion
So, take a moment to reflect on what’s truly important to you. Define your values, set clear goals aligned with them, and prioritise your actions accordingly.
By staying true to your values and persistently tending to the garden of your life, you can find meaning, purpose, and contentment along the way. After all, it’s not just about the harvest — it’s about the journey of growth and self-discovery.
When your actions are rooted in what truly matters to you, it will help keep you going despite the conditions, and you can create a landscape that brings you joy, fulfillment, and abundance.
Now move over box of chocolates, where are those coriander seeds!
Free Values Worksheet to help identify your values: https://www.kemar.com.au/_files/ugd/f12d74_4628fab9cd034975b2ca6275202f0ed8.pdf